Welcome Back And Real Life Chaos

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the Just an Epic Life podcast. My name is Nick. I'm one of your co-hosts. I'm sitting next to my anniversary wife, Kessley.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

He really wants to say annoyed. Annoyed.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

We were in much better spirits to press record four hours ago.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

We're doing great.

Turning Our First Home Into Airbnb

SPEAKER_01 0:18

We are doing great.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Yeah. We are uh sitting at our our first home. Yeah, which is now our first Airbnb or VRBO or short-term rental of some sort. Uh and uh we've had a couple of guests, and now we just are elevate, elevate, elevate. And uh he was so funny this morning. He said, I said, How long will we be there? He's like 25 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

This entire day has been focused on the 430.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

It's 4 30 in the afternoon, and we have been.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Those little tiny details. Like uh we had a very secure Wi-Fi password because I'm a believer in secure passwords. No one on vacation wants to spend 90 seconds and we have the most typing in the capital letter.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

No, so exclamation point dollar sign s2482 little V, little U, capital N, capital, nobody cares.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Like re renaming the Wi-Fi so it's easy to find and setting passwords. And then when you do that, you have to reset your Wi-Fi for every single device in the home. And you don't think that that includes the thermostat, the water sprinkler system? Like you you assume TVs. But you don't ever like the Xboxes.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

We labeled every light switch because we have light switches that nobody would know what they did. And then we finished that, and he's working on the sprinkler, and I labeled the trash can and the recycle. And now I'm like, I need to put what can actually be recycled. I want so then it's gonna be like a label ransom. No, no, thanks. Not gonna.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

She was going to use all caps.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Oh my gosh. Okay, let's talk about this, sir, because I don't understand why it's it. I think it looks better. The G is the same size as the capital T. So it looks ridiculous. And I couldn't put trash T, capital R, capital A, capital A, S, capital H.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

You just press shift and T and R-A-S-H.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

I just press caps and then T and then I press it again.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

It's just like a Cordy.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

It's fine. She puts labels on somewhat diagonally, and she thinks it's over.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

It's not diagonally. It's not completely straight. And diagonally stop it. Diagonally is like this. And it wasn't like that. It was just a little and by the way, I took um your notes because I went to go put the label on, and your label was like, and so I was like, well, mine's gonna be straighter than that. But then I got accosted for said label. It's fine. Yeah. It is fine. So he took off two of my labels and told me how terrible of a label putter on or I was. Oh did you adjust the trash one? No, I haven't seen it. Or the recycle? I haven't seen it yet. I have to like.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

I do recognize that the word trash and recycle, they're one word. It's okay if it's all caps.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

If it's like too late, I already did it.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

If it's like remote use remote under living room TV.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

If it's like when you've got it in two lines, it makes sense, but one for one no.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

For one word, I understand. Just for the prettiness of the label.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

It's been a long time since we did a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah.

College Tour And Counting Weeks

SPEAKER_00 3:31

There's so many things. So many things that we could do. We took we took our son to uh tour a college he wants to go to.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

It's his dream school.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

That's terrible as a parent. It was awful. Also it was awesome because I watched him like play up with it.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Yeah. And seeing what's possible.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

And it's funny because you know your brother and sister-in-law, my sister-in-law. Your brother. They uh they're they've already got one off to college. He's local. Uh, and then Tara, you know, the best friend, she's got two off to college. One, they both went away. And I watched that, and that was terrible. And that's all I can think about. And then my son wants to go and rip my heart out. And both of them, both Tara and Katie, they say, Don't worry. They're gonna take you off over the next couple months, and you're gonna be so glad to see them go. And I'm like, no, no, not my little Isaiah. Not my sweet little Isaiah. And then, of course, he was awful today. And I told him, Don't you dare make them right. But yeah, no, it's a it's a fun journey of how how little how much time we had with our kid. And now we have like Nick's counting weeks that we have left of him living at home.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

I'm counting weeks. Because I I well, I'm not counting, I'm tracking. Because what I track improves.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

What I track improves. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

So uh I for my new tracking method to make sure I maximize every single week with my favorite people. Uh it's you know done in sort of a spreadsheet form. Uh and for the kids, it's like color-coded. If it's white, the plan is that they're living at home. If it's something else, they're probably not living at home. And Isaiah is now down to double-digit living at home weeks. If he chooses to live at home between semesters.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Oh, he will.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

And if he chooses to live at home until he finishes his fourth year of university and then by August figures out something. I mean, he might we we moved out in May of our sophomore year of college.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

In May. So if Isaiah follows that track not everybody's as lucky as we are.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Correct. But if he follows that track. Well, and you moved out of your parents' house to live at your grandma's house.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Pro like pretty pretty quick after high school.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Yeah. So that would mean that we only have like 18 more weeks with him? Luckily, we've brainwashed him and he wants to stay home.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

I don't know that we brainwashed him, but we have a big, dumb, stupid house, and it has space for him. He has his own wing. He loves that.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

So you make it sound like a mansion.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

It's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

I think it's like the beauty and the beast, Beauty and the Beast. Don't go in the East Wing or whatever the wing that is.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Well, but it's split like that, right? Like it's this, it's a very split floor plan. So it he does have his own wing. You have to walk through all of the living corners in order to get to that wing of the house. Once again, you make it so messy. It's slightly bigger than this house. Yeah, but this is a two, it's stacked. It's not one level. The level makes it different. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

It is nice not having stairs.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

It is, especially after my workout yesterday. No, and back to Isaiah's trip to the college. It actually was really nice. It was some dedicated time that we got to spend with him. It's the first trip that we can recall taking without Liliana. Uh, she was not happy about that. But you know, spirit lines ruining our travel. And actually, it's not. They're not putting practices in. Yeah, it's not putting practices in our off time. Uh, and we travel because of it.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Two weeks from today, we'll be coming back from Vegas for a function. No, we're not coming back on Saturday. Oh, Sunday? Sunday. Two weeks from tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Yeah, two weeks from tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Which is great because my New Year's resolution a year ago was to work on my friendships. And I I believe the exact words was figure out a best friend. Uh other than you, of course. Uh but it was all on I've I'd lived 40 at the time, 44 years of life, and Kesley was my best friend. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

It's not a bad best friend.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

It's not a bad best friend. But who, if something happens to you, who do I have to talk to?

SPEAKER_00 8:03

All my best friends.

Making Friends As Cheer Parents

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Exactly. Uh so it was my New Year's resolution to focus on my friendships, and in all areas of life, uh, I became much more open to that. And that included the cheer parents and to be able to have people.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Oh, we I feel like we we could do a whole podcast on being cheer parents, but we thrusted ourselves into the cheer parents. I will I think they kind of saw us, they took hold, and then like think of a balloon trying to get away, and they just ranked us all in, yanked us all in. But we have made some really great great relationships with some uh extraordinary human beings, and really, really great connections in a short amount of time. Oh, yeah. And people that I think will be part of us for not just a season, not just the chair season, or their because like some of them are gonna graduate out this year. And I feel like, nope, they're still mine. Yeah. So absolutely, I feel like it's that's really cool. And I think it took something, and Nick does this really amazing thing, uh, especially with the cheer parents. He uh the cheer squad is made up of 52, 54, 52 girls, athletes, they all happen to be female. Um, and he made a point to learn the parents' names. Now, last year when we were cheer parents, we knew I kind of knew the names of the board members, and that was about it. And then Emily.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Like three or four people, and that was mainly because of previous connections.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Right. Or like um, I'd sit in a meeting and I'd be like, okay, if I have questions, I'll ask that cheer mom because she seems to be loud like me. And so now it's like Nick, Nick, if you're in the space of the cheerleaders, he's like, I forgot your name. And then he introduces himself. Yeah, and yes, there you go. That's the magic script.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

But so because I forgot your name, that's like you're not worth remembering.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Well, and in the beginning it wasn't that. It was I'm Nick, I'm Liliana's dad. Yeah, and so this is my wife, Keslie, the Liliana's mom. And people, I I'm gonna say people knew me, but they didn't know my name. Correct. They knew me because I'm the one posting the stuff. I'm yeah, she's the one that's posting things, coordinating things. But like, so they have the face figured out, hey, that like much like me last year, which hey, that's a mom that if I need something, she's gonna be able to help me. And so um, yeah, it's so he's I think some of that has helped draw that in because what we've learned inside of the cheer parents is they don't want to volunteer, they don't want to help because they don't feel connected. And nobody wants to feel like a stranger coming into a clicky group. And then another parent said she thought it was a click last year. And I was like, Oh, I thought you were part of, and I hate the word click, it sounds negative, but I thought she was part of that group. The in craft. Yeah, the outside looking in, she was part of that, and I was on the outside, and she she thought the opposite, which was funny, uh, which is great though. So now the intention is intentionally inclusive click. Like if we're gonna use a click, then we're all gonna be the cheer click.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

Yeah, we're gonna be a big click.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

We're yeah, mm-hmm. All the other campus uh boosters are gonna wish they were us.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

I'm okay if they feel on the outside.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Yeah, they should. We got some really cool fun revisions. Mm-hmm. Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's fun stuff. Yeah, so the Airbnb, uh taking our kid, uh, which I feel like there's many other stories we could tell on that.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

Oh, and and Liliana getting her driver's license.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Oh my gosh. Game changer. Isaiah getting his license was a game changer. Oh, that was great. But Liliana, her schedule with cheer, oh, is the worst. Uh, take her picker up, take her picker up. And she's needy. She is that child, she wants everything, not just some things. She's the baby of Isaiah and Liliana. She's the baby of the grandbabies on Nick's side. She's the baby of the grandbabies on my side. She's the baby of what I call the seven, which is Tara's two plus Emily's three plus our two. So that girl thinks she's the baby, and everybody should wait on her. And the worst part is everybody will. They'll all do whatever she wants. It's ridiculous. But yeah, her getting her driver's license and her little cute little Kia Soul, which she now says everybody knows of what she's driving. She putt-puts all around town.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Whenever people see a Kia Sole, they think of Liliana. They go, Is that is that Lily?

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah. Yeah, it's actually really cool. And she's very independent, she's very responsible. Yep. It scares me a little. We've done a good job. We have done a good job. I do think some of that, uh, my tip for parents who have drivers or almost drivers or whatever, would be to give them the freedom. And because like Liliana has a curfew that the city's set. And we think if the city sets it, then it's okay. My mother was like, you let her stay out till what time?

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Now there are times when we are intentional about hey, your curfew is less than the city because of, you know, like the night before Thanksgiving. I I called, you know, there's Black Friday. I call it Blackout Wednesday, because all those college kids come back home. The night before Thanksgiving is the first time I ever got drunk.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

You were older, but yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

I was 19.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Yeah. Well, so all of December, she's had to be home early. She has not liked that very much. And I don't care. There's crazy people out on the road. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

And she's So we're we're aware, and we don't just give them blind curfews. We're like, this is why. You have cheer at this time.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Thus, your curfew is. We're not just saying 11 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Right. Well, and they have to keep us posted on if they move locations and what they're doing. And man, it's so much easier with a dot. How did our parents do it? I don't know how they did it.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Like, it's so easy for our kids to either send a text to give us the update, or we just follow the dot just to go, oh, is she still at this friend's house?

SPEAKER_00 14:02

We would have had to call. Hey, mom, I'm going to so-and-so's house, or hey, could I go to Dutch Bros?

SPEAKER_01 14:08

We would have to give those calls to get updates.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

And that required our parents to be home.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Or you send them a page and they find a phone.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Pagers were cool.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Pagers were cool. Let's go back to that.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Actually, I it'd be fun for a day. It'd be fun for I I think it would be really fun if our kids got to experience a day in the 90s.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

It makes me want to rewind all the way to the beginning of the ERs. Okay. Because they had the beepers, right? Like that's the doctors were you were a doctor if you had a beeper. I remember when they went like mainstream, right? But yeah, you were important if you had a beeper. You're probably some. You wore that proudly on your hip. Yeah. Well, even once you got a cell phone, once cell phones, you wore that on your hip, unless you were Zach Morris, in which case you had it in the backpack because it was this big and you held it like this.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Nostalgia. It's good. Yeah.

Start Now With Standards And Habits

SPEAKER_00 15:06

So cool things. Cool things happening. And um lots of opportunities to grow. I feel like uh one of the things Nick alluded to a uh New Year's resolution that he's doing. And you'll probably hear this long after New Year's resolutions, which is probably exactly when you need to hear it, because we decided this year that we don't have to wait until Monday. We don't have to wait until the first of January. Uh we both, uh, without even having a conversation with each other, made decisions two days ago? Two days ago to just take on something yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Yeah. Well, I implement I I chose about uh a week ago.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

I chose about a week ago.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

And then like I've had it on my schedule to create my chart. And then I finally implemented yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

I didn't have it on my schedule, but I also I do things differently than people. I can my schedule's still in my head. Like if you looked at my calendar, you wouldn't have seen work out. You I would have known that on Friday I was doing that. So, but same. Yeah. So don't don't wait. Yeah. And or if you have already gotten behind.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Just because I set up my chart, and my chart didn't doesn't technically start until the first week in January. I still implemented.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Like every single thing on that chart, I have implemented this week.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Good.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

I'm not gonna track it because there's no place for it. But in my mind, I'm like, I already have momentum.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

I love momentum.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

And I know that I can I can do it.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Momentum is messy.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

And my yes. Momentum is messy.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Yeah. So if you have made a New Year's resolution, don't wait to start it. If it's February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, or December, and you made it and gave up on it, start today or tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

And one thing that I on a podcast I was listening to, it talked about it, it was a podcast we mutually listened to that talk about New Year's resolutions are stupid.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Because they're these like standards versus goals. Yeah. And it was like, don't create this goal, just create the behavior that makes the goal inevitable.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Don't like I'm gonna lose 13 pounds by losing. No, I'm going to eat this. Well, and it's so for me, it's not I'm gonna have great relationships. No, it's every Sunday I'm gonna look through my list and make sure that I send a message to every person. And every Sunday I'm gonna look through my list and make sure I spent 15 minutes with these people. That's it. With the type of relationship that comes as a result of this action, it'll get there. Or it won't. I can't control that. What I can control is the actions I take this week.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Well, and it's the compound of another podcast we were listening to you talking about. It's the journey. We're we all set these goals and we can't wait to get there. And it's who we become and what we got to do. And it's not different than the anticipation of a vacation, right? Like uh, I think back to our our 20th anniversary and our 40th birthday year, and uh like we were on it, man. We were like, we ate well, we didn't drink too much, we were working out, like that picture of us, like we had we had buff arms, like it was great, and it was fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

That journey to get there, and working out in that garage was fun.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Yeah, it was fun, it was fun, yeah, totally fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Doing my hair and like, yeah, I biceps, it was fun, yeah. And on uh a similar podcast from that same week, the person was talking about, you know, it's uh uh referring to like the gap in the game. You know, when you set a goal, don't focus on how far you still have to go to reach that goal. It's no, you set the goal and then keep looking back to how far have I come? How far have I come? How far have I come? And it was put into the context of goals and resolutions, uh, for just set your set your standard, set your goal accurately, face that goal, and then take a step. Because if you may, if you do momentum in the wrong direction, you are doing the opposite of approach of approaching that goal. So if as long as you're faced the right way, even if it's a tiny microscopic step, it's still progress. And B, look back and go, I'm better now than I was, whatever, increment of time, simply because I was aligned to that goal. So I shouldn't have to stress about not being at that goal. I should just enjoy this step. Uh and just enjoying the moment. I mean, if let's say that my goal was well, I'll go with my goal, you know, relationships. I shouldn't go, oh, I have to make sure that for the next 52 weeks I keep in contact with this person. No, it's hey, this week I sent him a text that just said, hey, I know this Christmas was probably tough because it's the first Christmas without mom. Did you have a lot of breakdowns? And just being able to create that connection. Uh and I did a good job. I was a good friend in that moment. And those those moments of being a good friend will compile and they'll compound, and we'll have it'll be great because I chose to send a text.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Baby steps.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Baby steps.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

It's not we don't win in the big steps, we win in the baby steps. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

On Christmas Eve, the family came over. Isaiah picked up Nani in the convertible because the convertible is easy for her to ride or get in and out of. She's 83?

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Born in 32.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

93. She's 93. Uh she said as soon as she got in the house that it rained. And I took this for granted. I'm like, oh, I'm I'm so sorry, you know. Did you enjoy having the rain? You know, I took it as if anyone in the world said to me, hey, it rained. I got rained on. And then she she said it again in such a way that it made me realize this was a profound moment, a profound moment. She says she hasn't felt rain for three years. Because she's She doesn't get outside. She doesn't get outside. She's had two hip surgeries. She is uh it's deliberate work to have to have her outside of her bedroom, hallway, bathroom, living room, dining room. It takes something. Yeah. So when the family spends time with her, it's usually not to torture her by saying, hey, let's go outside, get in a car, go somewhere else, get inside. No, it's sweet we spend time there. But for she got to experience rain for the first time in three years.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

And it was Arizona rain. So it was like Yeah. But it was yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Like the next time I feel rain, I hope I don't take it for granted.

Final Thoughts And Sign Off

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Right. Yeah. Well, there's cool things happening in our world. We hope there's cool things happening in your world.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

So until next time.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

Yeah. Enjoy an epic life.